Episode #8 Confessional

[Matthew von Ertfelda]

Coming into the merge with an idol is amazing. Basically, I have to play the field really intellegently, and I know this, because if I play it any other way, I essentially will get found out, and slaughtered.

I'll explain what I did in my time merging.

- I made an alliance with Erin, and I feel like Erin really is trusting me for a deep part of the game.

- I've discussed with Heidi making me and her get to the end with our partners Janet and Ken in order to squeeze to the final 4

(yay for confliction)

-I met Shii Ann

-I told the guys I'd vote Shii Ann (after helping to make sure it stuck on Shii Ann in a group chat by saying we should go after the person with an idol who isn't the weakest or the strongest, and LET them piece together Shii Ann after wavering to Erin and Janet).

_____________________________________________

As for the votes though, things go all messy because we could not get our crap together on how to vote, and things had to get smashed together in the last seconds.

Conversation with Erin:

rayi2004 [9:18 P.M.]: [Offline IM sent 41m ago] you on?
Deetman91 [9:18 P.M.]: yes, now i am
RayI2004 [9:18 P.M.]: OMG lol
RayI2004 [9:19 P.M.]: I've been freaking out
Deetman91 [9:19 P.M.]: what happened?
RayI2004 [9:19 P.M.]: votes are due in 40 min and I dont know what to do
RayI2004 [9:19 P.M.]: and roger wont say anything about who the vote is
RayI2004 [9:25 P.M.]: is it me they are voting for?
Deetman91 [9:25 P.M.]: if they are, they are lying to me
RayI2004 [9:25 P.M.]:
SurvivorSchemer 8:25 pm
u "should" be safe
RayI2004 8:25 pm
LOL
SurvivorSchemer 8:25 pm
and I "should" be going to tonight
RayI2004 [9:25 P.M.]: have you voted yet?
Deetman91 [9:26 P.M.]: no
RayI2004 [9:26 P.M.]: should me you and heidi vote for someone else since brian thinks he has votes coming
Deetman91 [9:27 P.M.]: that might be the better way to go
RayI2004 [9:28 P.M.]: who would you rather see us vote for?
Deetman91 [9:28 P.M.]: idk
Deetman91 [9:28 P.M.]: how does brian know?
RayI2004 [9:28 P.M.]: he said john told him
RayI2004 [9:29 P.M.]: should we vote Robb he has past votes?
Deetman91 [9:30 P.M.]: that makes the most sense probably
RayI2004 [9:30 P.M.]: just in case they split theirs?
Deetman91 [9:30 P.M.]: ok
RayI2004 [9:31 P.M.]: I hope this works lol
RayI2004 [9:35 P.M.]: think we should use 2 idols this round to assure we take majority?
RayI2004 [9:44 P.M.]: this is gonna be a hot mess brother man
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: okay
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: yeah
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: and yes
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: but
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: okay
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: use 2
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: if u think its best
RayI2004 [9:46 P.M.]: I voted
RayI2004 [9:46 P.M.]: if this works its gonna be 5-4 man you are golden then
Deetman91 [9:46 P.M.]: WE are
RayI2004 [9:47 P.M.]: fuck cant play idols after 9?
Deetman91 [9:47 P.M.]: whaaat?
RayI2004 [9:47 P.M.]: thats what heidi's saying
Deetman91 [9:47 P.M.]: same thing
Deetman91 [9:47 P.M.]: that it can't be played
RayI2004 [9:48 P.M.]: when was that added
Deetman91 [9:48 P.M.]: no clue
RayI2004 [9:49 P.M.]: this blows lol
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: yeah
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: vote shii ann
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: if they are THINKING of splitting votes
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: and not telling me
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: they will put it on you
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: i want you to be safe
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: or you can put past votes on people
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: its up to you
RayI2004 [9:51 P.M.]: I already voted :-(
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: for who?
RayI2004 [9:51 P.M.]: roger
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: ok
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: well
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: that's fine
RayI2004 [9:52 P.M.]: I hope that blunder doesnt screw us
RayI2004 [9:56 P.M.]: if I do go tonight man, thinks for atleast giving me hope and a chance hopefully Im still here though
Deetman91 [9:57 P.M.]: i really don't think it's you
Deetman91 [9:57 P.M.]: if anyone, if they were really sneaky, they would have voted me
Deetman91 [9:57 P.M.]: since they all think i flipped anyway
Deetman91 [9:57 P.M.]: and wouldn't need me at 9
RayI2004 [9:57 P.M.]: I just wanted you to know that
Deetman91 [9:57 P.M.]: well hopefully we go on together
RayI2004 [9:57 P.M.]: I hope so man
_____________________________________________

Erin really knows how to act. She really makes me feel like she has care for me in this game, and like she took my words seriously. That is a lot of how my words come to be true or false. If you show ME that you care about me in your game, and that I am important in your game, and you seem to trust what I've said, I am so much more inclined to make what I told you the truth, and to help you in the game. Erin is a tough gal to help, but I will try. It is her behaviour that makes me want to try, and it is a very good play of her to be so friendly toward me, and she's really a threat for that behavior, a social threat, but one I don't want to take out.

Others of the guys on the other hand are so suspicious of me, and so don't trust me, and I'm on the bottom, and I KNOW it. That behaviour is why I feel fine leaking anything and everything to the other girls, and I don't have any regrets until they truly treat me as an included member, and I think we're all too deep in our behaviors, and the alternatives we have been planning to choose to allow that to be mended.

Conversation with Heidi:

Deetman91 [9:18 P.M.]: Hey, anything new?
squishymonkies85 [9:19 P.M.]: Omfg ur fired wheere have u b een
Deetman91 [9:20 P.M.]: working, other stuff
Deetman91 [9:20 P.M.]: things have changed?
squishymonkies85 [9:21 P.M.]: Not that I know of john ssupects uer with us ed didn't play isol
Deetman91 [9:21 P.M.]: wait
Deetman91 [9:21 P.M.]: he did what?
Deetman91 [9:21 P.M.]: lol
squishymonkies85 [9:21 P.M.]: Idol
Deetman91 [9:21 P.M.]: okay
Deetman91 [9:22 P.M.]: john suspects im with you guys and didn't play idol
Deetman91 [9:22 P.M.]: idk what you mean lol
Deetman91 [9:22 P.M.]: (making vote in the meantime lol
squishymonkies85 [9:22 P.M.]: Shii ann didn't palyt idol
Deetman91 [9:22 P.M.]: seriously?
Deetman91 [9:22 P.M.]: sheesh
Deetman91 [9:22 P.M.]: lol
squishymonkies85 [9:22 P.M.]: I know right
Deetman91 [9:23 P.M.]: then
Deetman91 [9:23 P.M.]: does she have past votes?
squishymonkies85 [9:23 P.M.]: Lots
squishymonkies85 [9:24 P.M.]: Or we can spin it aroudn and me u and ray vote roger
squishymonkies85 [9:24 P.M.]: $
Deetman91 [9:24 P.M.]: what would that do?
Deetman91 [9:25 P.M.]: unless Shii Ann and Janet did that too
squishymonkies85 [9:25 P.M.]: If brian idols
Deetman91 [9:25 P.M.]: yeah
Deetman91 [9:25 P.M.]: but
Deetman91 [9:25 P.M.]: still
Deetman91 [9:25 P.M.]: Shii Ann would go
squishymonkies85 [9:25 P.M.]: Shii ann sent me hher idol I'm gonna play it on her
Deetman91 [9:25 P.M.]: can that be done?
squishymonkies85 [9:26 P.M.]: Yeppers
Deetman91 [9:26 P.M.]: okay
squishymonkies85 [9:26 P.M.]: If brian already voted he can't use idol now anyways
Deetman91 [9:27 P.M.]: okay
Deetman91 [9:27 P.M.]: soo
squishymonkies85 [9:27 P.M.]: Vote brian and pray lol
Deetman91 [9:28 P.M.]: how did brian figure out
Deetman91 [9:28 P.M.]: that's what i dont get
Deetman91 [9:28 P.M.]: one of the girls
Deetman91 [9:28 P.M.]: must have told him
Deetman91 [9:28 P.M.]: or the guys that we are against
Deetman91 [9:28 P.M.]: that's what doesn't make sense
squishymonkies85 [9:29 P.M.]: Erin gonna throw a vote to roger jus in case
squishymonkies85 [9:31 P.M.]: Or doi u think us three should
Deetman91 [9:32 P.M.]: hmm
Deetman91 [9:33 P.M.]: well this much is true
Deetman91 [9:33 P.M.]: robb has more past votes than roger
squishymonkies85 [9:34 P.M.]: roger doesn't have friend with an idol
squishymonkies85 [9:34 P.M.]: if two vote roger and three vote brian we sould be comvered
squishymonkies85 [9:35 P.M.]: will you vote Roger with Erin
squishymonkies85 [9:35 P.M.]: or I can uploading vote now
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: hm
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: lemme just get this together
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: i think
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: those 5
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: no matter what
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: are voting together
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: you are using an idol on shii ann
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: so beyond that
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: hmm
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: i wonder if
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: hear me out here
Deetman91 [9:36 P.M.]: if basically
squishymonkies85 [9:36 P.M.]: if brian somehow used his idol before deadline and roger gets two votes, I could idol erin nd take a chance to keep us together
Deetman91 [9:37 P.M.]: okay
Deetman91 [9:37 P.M.]: this is what i was gonna say tho
Deetman91 [9:37 P.M.]: they are suspicious about me
squishymonkies85 [9:37 P.M.]: and if its me well fuck eh
Deetman91 [9:37 P.M.]: if i put a shii ann vote in there, and have it be like personalized
Deetman91 [9:37 P.M.]: so they KNOW its me
Deetman91 [9:37 P.M.]: they might not take me out of the loop
Deetman91 [9:37 P.M.]: for the next vote
Deetman91 [9:37 P.M.]: is that worth it do you think?
Deetman91 [9:38 P.M.]: because honestly, my vote won't play in
Deetman91 [9:38 P.M.]: cause i really don't think they're throwing votes all around
Deetman91 [9:38 P.M.]: when they know we
Deetman91 [9:38 P.M.]: could have our votes on one of them
Deetman91 [9:38 P.M.]: that's not brian
squishymonkies85 [9:39 P.M.]: kk hun go for it I am gonna idol the two and pray
Deetman91 [9:39 P.M.]: okay
squishymonkies85 [9:39 P.M.]: one question does roger have any past votes?
Deetman91 [9:39 P.M.]: uhhh
Deetman91 [9:39 P.M.]: 1
Deetman91 [9:39 P.M.]: that i remember
Deetman91 [9:39 P.M.]: Alex voted him
Deetman91 [9:39 P.M.]: when he left
Deetman91 [9:39 P.M.]: but that's the only one
Deetman91 [9:39 P.M.]: so that 1 vote
Deetman91 [9:40 P.M.]: Robb has 3
Deetman91 [9:40 P.M.]: John has 2
Deetman91 [9:40 P.M.]: Brian has 1
Deetman91 [9:40 P.M.]: i think that's where that's at
squishymonkies85 [9:40 P.M.]: kk run and vote
Deetman91 [9:40 P.M.]: ok
Deetman91 [9:46 P.M.]: okay
Deetman91 [9:46 P.M.]: now...
Deetman91 [9:46 P.M.]: do you think
Deetman91 [9:46 P.M.]: hmm
squishymonkies85 [9:46 P.M.]: we can't play idols
Deetman91 [9:47 P.M.]: why not?
squishymonkies85 [9:47 P.M.]: he siad after 9 even if I hadn't voted
Deetman91 [9:47 P.M.]: what is that about?
squishymonkies85 [9:49 P.M.]: so do I vote brian or Roger?? need answer omg fuck
Deetman91 [9:49 P.M.]: okay...
Deetman91 [9:49 P.M.]: well if shii ann isn't getting votes
Deetman91 [9:49 P.M.]: honestly
Deetman91 [9:49 P.M.]: i think maybe we should just count our chickens, and hope ken votes with us next time?
Deetman91 [9:49 P.M.]: cause he did show interest to me
Deetman91 [9:49 P.M.]: but NOT YET
squishymonkies85 [9:49 P.M.]: who do I vote
Deetman91 [9:49 P.M.]: idk
Deetman91 [9:50 P.M.]: if Shii ann isn't safe
Deetman91 [9:50 P.M.]: and you feel remotely in danger
Deetman91 [9:50 P.M.]: you could compound on her
Deetman91 [9:50 P.M.]: besides that
Deetman91 [9:50 P.M.]: you guys can place past votes on someone else, or vote on someone else to hope they go
Deetman91 [9:50 P.M.]: alone, we can't do anything
Deetman91 [9:50 P.M.]: shii ann has too many past votes
Deetman91 [9:50 P.M.]: to stay, even in a 5-5 tie
squishymonkies85 [9:51 P.M.]: I voted shii L(
Deetman91 [9:51 P.M.]: k i am now
squishymonkies85 [9:53 P.M.]: voted :-)
squishymonkies85 [9:53 P.M.]: only you and erin know I have shii ann idol so if I stay lets pray
Deetman91 [9:53 P.M.]: yeah
Deetman91 [9:53 P.M.]: that's really gangsta
Deetman91 [9:54 P.M.]: i voted too
Deetman91 [9:54 P.M.]: and i put saturn on my vote
Deetman91 [9:54 P.M.]: as my "symbol"
Deetman91 [9:54 P.M.]: to the guys lol
squishymonkies85 [9:55 P.M.]: I feel so bad
squishymonkies85 [9:55 P.M.]: I feel like I robbed my best friend
Deetman91 [9:56 P.M.]: it really isn't your fault
Deetman91 [9:56 P.M.]: i feel bad too and i just met her though, so i totally get that

Conversation with John:


Deetman91 [9:23 P.M.]: hey, anything changed?
Deetman91 [9:23 P.M.]: (sorry, ive been busy all day)
JadeDiamond44 [9:24 P.M.]: Not that I'm aware of, no.
Deetman91 [9:24 P.M.]: alright, thanks
Deetman91 [9:45 P.M.]: alrighty, im voting now
Deetman91 [9:45 P.M.]: i have a nice lil saturn on my vote, symbolizing how far we're gonna go, lol

____________________________________

So that's it John? Okay, cool buddy.

____________________________________

Conversation with Brian:

Deetman91 [9:23 P.M.]: hey anything changed?
SurvivorSchemer [9:23 P.M.]: just that I'm the target for the girls apparentl
SurvivorSchemer [9:23 P.M.]: *apparently
Deetman91 [9:24 P.M.]: are you?
Deetman91 [9:24 P.M.]: they acted to me like it might be me
Deetman91 [9:24 P.M.]: but didn't say it either
Deetman91 [9:24 P.M.]: i dont trust what they say
Deetman91 [9:24 P.M.]: and am not giving them info back lol
SurvivorSchemer [9:25 P.M.]: hey u might wanna talk to John
Deetman91 [9:25 P.M.]: about what?
SurvivorSchemer [9:26 P.M.]: well Idk how to put it without making look like I said it
Deetman91 [9:26 P.M.]: hmm
Deetman91 [9:27 P.M.]: well i asked him 3 minutes ago
Deetman91 [9:27 P.M.]: if anything was new and he said no lol
SurvivorSchemer [9:28 P.M.]: ah
Deetman91 [9:29 P.M.]: okay
Deetman91 [9:29 P.M.]: well if there's something you think i should know, and you don't want me to tell someone you told me i wouldn't
Deetman91 [9:29 P.M.]: otherwise idk what to do, cause clearly John doesn't have anything he wants to tell me lol
SurvivorSchemer [9:30 P.M.]: well since I'm kinda in the deep of possibly getting voted out...John is wondering if your loyalty is to the guys
SurvivorSchemer [9:30 P.M.]: truly
Deetman91 [9:31 P.M.]: i want it to be, honestly, but it speaks to me when people keep checking that lol
Deetman91 [9:31 P.M.]: ya know what i mean?
Deetman91 [9:31 P.M.]: you don't tutor the top students in the class, so idk why people keep insinuating that to me lol
SurvivorSchemer [9:31 P.M.]: so I mean I trust you, but I don't want you asking John questions of trust, etc...just try to get to know him
Deetman91 [9:32 P.M.]: ok
Deetman91 [9:32 P.M.]: yeah he seems nice
Deetman91 [9:32 P.M.]: and i haven't really tried to make an alliance with anyone solidly to make anyone uncomfortable
Deetman91 [9:32 P.M.]: idk what else i can do besides that
SurvivorSchemer [9:33 P.M.]: well only time will tell on what ur next plan of action is
SurvivorSchemer [9:37 P.M.]: do u have an idol?
Deetman91 [9:38 P.M.]: yeah
Deetman91 [9:41 P.M.]: do you guys need
Deetman91 [9:41 P.M.]: an identifying mark on my vote or something?
Deetman91 [9:41 P.M.]: cause i feel like you're not trusting me
SurvivorSchemer [9:41 P.M.]: I'm trusting you, I'm just trying to figure out who to give my idol to
Deetman91 [9:41 P.M.]: right, you have one too
Deetman91 [9:42 P.M.]: hmm
SurvivorSchemer [9:42 P.M.]: I might give it to you just in case
Deetman91 [9:43 P.M.]: i do think just cause of the talk
Deetman91 [9:43 P.M.]: if someone was going to be tricked around
Deetman91 [9:43 P.M.]: they would vote me
Deetman91 [9:43 P.M.]: cause i think that would be the least likely from our side
Deetman91 [9:43 P.M.]: me or roger
Deetman91 [9:43 P.M.]: just cause you guys are all sook, and i had a partner that survived too
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: unlike roger
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: but idk
SurvivorSchemer [9:44 P.M.]: yea
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: if you want to its up to you
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: i have saturn on my vote btw
Deetman91 [9:44 P.M.]: just so you guys know lol
SurvivorSchemer [9:47 P.M.]: lol
Deetman91 [9:54 P.M.]: well man, i hope you're safe
Deetman91 [9:55 P.M.]: and us all
Deetman91 [9:55 P.M.]: but unless someone told them too much
Deetman91 [9:55 P.M.]: and they were really organized, or someone flipped
Deetman91 [9:55 P.M.]: it should be fine
SurvivorSchemer [9:55 P.M.]: i hope

_________________________________________

This is where the fascinating Brian comes into play. I really read him as someone who really wouldn't have much of a significant position once we merged, but I was dead wrong. He actually is a target, someone they want to rob the idol from, yet someone who apparently, at least as far as Erin is concerned, may flip? She seems to think so, and you never really can say "No, that's isn't true", because if she wants to try for that, and thinks it is possible, why not try it! No skin off my nose, if it works, beautifully executed.

In edition, Brian offered me his idol a little, and then retracted a bit, seeming to be trying to fish where it is more useful. That's really selfless and nice of him, but I don't understand it at all. I think he's trying to play the game to create the impression he isn't thinking only of himself, and may care about me. He also addressed the trust issue regarding me, and tried to more or less pat me on the back, and let me know that I can show that I'm worthy of trust. Sure...I'm still being put away from them, but he's not denying it either, and he's kinda acting like maybe I can earn my way. Do I want to earn my way into THAT? Likely not, I think the girls are a better route for me, but it still is really fascinating to see him playing a bit more of a game than I would have expected by how he was handling himself for the time I've seen him.

So yeah, at the end of the day though, Shii Ann didn't use the idol, and apparently she gave it to Heidi, but since she didn't play the idol, she had to go, and I tossed my "saturn" vote on her to show my trust after a while, as the conversations kinda guided you through, and told Heidi to do this same. I just got a little nervous about breaking away when the guys were likely going to get Shii out anyway, and though I have been compromising myself for the Sook boys this whole game since I mixed with them, I'm really ready to make a move against them, and I think that time has finally arrived for next round...